This post was originally written for subscribers of the daily taryn, an email newsletter/writing project . Now's the perfect time to join, so I'll hold while you do so. Love u.
It’s gonna be a no from me this morning.
I'm not going to lie — this morning is not it, and it's only 8:27am. I really, really wanted some headspace this morning to write out my thoughts on Kobe/Gianna/all the people on that flight, but instead, I'm over here obsessively checking my blood pressure, heart rate, ECG-thing on my apple watch — juuust fucking flipping out.
If you're new around here, your girl has health anxiety (look it up if you'd like to understand my misery, lol but also not lol). I won't dive into it because that's not what I need right now, but I'll give you the basics:
Had it since I was 10
Think about it so so so many times a day
Seen so many therapists it's crazy
Seen basically every doctor ever, including... 20+ visits to the ER for things I thought were heart attacks
It's very, very not fun. And this morning had a few things that got me spooked, so I'm going to do all the things I need to do to make myself nice and cozy.
I'm not here to complain, get tips, or get sympathy. Really, I don't want or need it. But I do want to say this, and if you've read enough of my stuff, you know I believe this to my core — you can restart a day whenever you want to.
Get out of bed on the wrong foot this morning? Get back in and try again. First few hours didn't go your way? Cool. In your head, count that as an entirely different day. Take a deep breath and start over. Have a weird interaction with someone you love? Pause. Take a deep breath. Archive. Reset. Start over. Don't let a whole day be a "bad day" because you had a bad moment, or maybe a string of a few.
You can always restart, reset, and try again. I'm doing that today, and if you need to, I hope you do too.
Hi. Thanks for the read — it actually means the world to me. Now that you're on a roll of making me happy, here’s 2 options to keep the fun going. You could 1) share this with someone, or 2) join my newsletter. If that's not your thing, I'll love you regardless, but I'll do some middle school love letter journaling about you if you do either. Head here to join my list of gorgeous subscribers.