This post was originally written for subscribers of the daily taryn, a daily-ish newsletter/writing project that is sometimes actually daily (like right now — Taryn is emailing those subs every day for 30 days straight). Now's the perfect time to join, so Taryn will hold while you do so by clicking this. She loves u.
the daily taryn season 3: episode 11
Call me crazy, but I feel like you’ve changed, right?
short answer is…
Yes, you have.
long answer is…
Yes, you have. And here’s why I know it.
For the first time since TDT season 3 started, I finally had the time and headspace this morning to sit down at my computer and respond to your responses. If you responded to episode 1, you should’ve already seen a response back from me this morning. If it was after that, I’m still working through them. Hang tight.
I’m responding to emails from… only 2 weeks ago? And I am already shocked at how much has changed in the world since then. That first newsletter I sent was written in what I thought would be the most foreign day-to-day life I’d be experiencing in 2020, but it’s only gotten less familiar and less comfortable since then. Reading your responses has been like some weird form of nostalgia — like I’m reading an old yearbook that was actually logs from just a couple weeks ago.
Everyone’s problems seemed HUGE then — I have to wear a mask! I haven’t seen my friends! I miss pubs and hugs and dog parks! It seemed like life as we knew it gone — it was so deeply different, it just couldn’t get weirder. But now, Jesus. So much has happened. If you’re in a city like me, we’ve gone from don’t go out because virus to, okay, maybe go out with a mask and gloves and a hazmat suit because it’s getting better, to, okay don’t go out the cops are losing their minds and are not on your side, to, okay the virus is like really really getting better now so you could go to the beach now!! to, okay no the riots are getting very intense and there are curfews now — literal curfews that, if you don’t follow, will get you thrown in a cop car or a jail cell or god knows where next.
Every single day feels like a year. Or a decade. It feels like we’re living in the middle of what will definitely turn into movies, books, autobiographies, documentaries, the subject of comedy skits, and the conversation that will end with our kids saying, “I can’t believe you were alive during that…”
Now. You change all the time, in little and big ways. You’re so much more likely to change when things around you change, from the small things (a new haircut makes me feel this new type of way) to the big things (this new house or spouse or whatever makes me feel this type of way). And when things are changing at a global, systemic level, can you imagine the changes you might see in yourself?
That’s what I was thinking about this morning reading your emails from just a couples weeks ago. How much has changed since then. How much I’ve changed. How many little things I’ve noticed — how I treat my body, how I see myself, my desire to learn or create, my needs and needs I thought I had but really don’t have, my feelings towards certain friends or hobbies, my outlook on the world and what matters and what doesn’t.
If you’re like me (which, I know you are — you are emailing me and I see youuu!), then you’ve changed too. In big and small ways. In weird and new ways. And although the world is literally somehow completely frozen and completely burning at the same time, I think it’s worth taking the time to think about what changes you’ve noticed in yourself, and maybe sharing that with someone you love or trust. What's new and good? What’s new and bad? What should I keep changing or change back to or change forward with? In this new world (which will certainly change again — hang on for it), who do you want to be?
So. Hi change. I’ll be honest — you are overwhelming and annoying and sometimes unwelcome, but I’m happy you’re here. I know that, where you are, growth is there too. So, come on in. Join me at the table. Feet off the table, please. You’re not that welcome… yet. Let’s get to know each other and see what good might come out of this.
I can’t thank you enough for reading. If you liked what you read, share it with someone you think would like it too (and tag me!! I wanna see it and melt <3)