This post was originally written for subscribers of the daily taryn, a daily-ish newsletter/writing project that is sometimes actually daily (like right now — Taryn is emailing those subs every day for 30 days straight). Now's the perfect time to join, so Taryn will hold while you do so by clicking this. She loves u.
the daily taryn season 3: episode 9
To say I’m surprising myself lately is an understatement. I was (and still am, although I’m actively working on it now) fairly ignorant about some very important things.
Disclaimer: I’m going to very quickly talk about myself for a second, but only because I think it will help others relate, NOT because I think my story is important right now.
I’m a white girl who was born into a white affluent family in Orange County. I have a healthy, happy family. When my parents weren’t with us being loving and present and providing for our every need, they were at lucrative full-time jobs, making sure money was never a worry for our family, meaning health and ease and sports and food were never an issue either. My brothers and I had an equally amazing live-in-nanny from when I was 9 months old till about 13 years old — she played with us and taught us and drove us and cooked for us and loved us. She was and is and will always be family. I grew up with people like me all around me. My parents paid for my college. My family is kind and giving — with love and time and money and all the “right” things. We’re happy and healthy and together, and, now I really understand, beyond privileged.
I’ve always known I had privilege (I used to call it “luck” or, during my Christian days, “being blessed”), but my privilege has never been more apparent than it is now. Even after devoting a good part of my life to a religion that, when done right, is all about striving for liberation and helping those who need it. Even after moving to San Fransisco, the wokest of all places, where I started to see real examples of privilege playing out in the world. Where I began to learn about diversity and inclusion and injustice and things that just didn’t add up.
Even after that, I didn’t fully get it. I didn’t understand the state of racism in the world and, as a white privileged woman, what my role was in it. I chose to sit on the bench and jump in when needed, but never take any real responsibility. Outside of the “obvious” moves — donating, reposting things, telling my black friends I was there for them whenever some crazy shit went down in the news — I was quietly choosing ignorance.
how about we stop choosing ignorance
After the last few weeks of blatant hate and malice and disgusting treatment of black people, it feels like the world is waking up. You’re either on the right side of history or the wrong side of history — there is no more excuses for ignorance. Yes, this should’ve been the case every single time something like this happened (which is insane to say — that any uproar like this has happened before and resulted in no change), but it hasn’t. Nothing has changed — due, in large part, to myself and people like me. People (reminder, like me) who want to scream "BLACK LIVES MATTER” from the rooftops, but let fear of saying the wrong thing stop them from doing so. People who support in silence, but are actually letting the louder (often wrong and awful) voices be heard — not the ones who want positive and rightfully earned change. People who think they get it — what racism means and how to be “not racist” — but don’t have a clue. People who choose to not push themselves to truly, truly understand, because they don’t know where or how to start, and it’s kinda easier to be ignorant.
I’ve learned more valuable, important things in the past week than I’ve learned in years, and I’m just beginning this journey. I’ve started to learn about my privilege and how I can use it to help those who have none. I’ve started to learn how to be an actual ally for black people, not just a “of course I hate what’s happening!” ally. I’ve started to learn how the world got this way, and how much of it was because of the silent majority. Me.
I’ve learned how easy it is to learn — it’s almost harder to not learn. That’s the point we’re at now. Information is EVERYWHERE. There are books and lists and lists of books. There are websites and videos and websites full of videos that will help you understand what you need to understand. There are people explaining things to people at every level — from the kids to the adults to whatever the hell we all are in-between.
Most of all, I’ve learned that ignorance is a choice, and in the case of racism (and probably everything else), it is without a doubt the wrong choice.
If you don’t understand something, ask. Look stupid. Get it wrong (which I’ve done so much already — thanks to all who are helping me learn). If you don’t have someone to ask, google things. Google everything. Then ask yourself why you don’t have someone to ask. If you feel better about remaining in the dark, learn why that is, then learn how to overcome that.
Maybe you can’t march in protest. Maybe you can’t donate money. Maybe you can’t call all the senators and send all the emails. Whatever your reasons, don’t let that stop you from doing what you CAN do. You can learn. You can get educated. In fact, if you’re reading these words, I know it as fact. You have the absolute privilege of access to internet and people and all the information you need to start fighting injustices in the world.
Please, use it. You need to, for the people who can’t because of where they were born or the color of their skin. Learn. Grow. And when you start to understand, use it all to go and do the right thing.
Oh! And if you’re still looking for resources to help fight racial injustice, police brutality, and all the awful things that are happening right under our nose today — start here or try this.
I can’t thank you enough for reading. If you liked what you read, share it with someone you think would like it too (and tag me!! I wanna see it and melt <3)